Not as exhausting as you would think, more irritating. The onset of my issues was never sudden, it was gradual and took me a while to notice what was happening.
Have you ever seen a kid try to sit still during dinner when he knows there are new toys waiting just within his grasp. That tell-tale wiggle and constant readjustment is obnoxious. I have that stupid wiggle a lot. But mostly it’s in my hands and head. Even as I sit here writing this my head is moving around and I have changed from sitting normal, to having my legs up on the chair to one down, one up and all over the place.
The worst part of this is I look crazy in public. I say crazy because I look young, if you saw an older person doing the same things I do along with the most unforgiving problem of my hands shaking every time I try to bring something to my mouth, you wouldn’t think twice about it. But with someone my age, I look like I’m on drugs (not the fun kind), crack head Carrie. The judgement is real. I’m just glad I already hate making eye contact with people in the first place, honestly it’s creepy.
I also look tired constantly thanks to the treatment for this issue. Extended release propranolol along with my usual Klonopin. I am tired in truth, but getting used to it. I plan on finding out more about different treatments because it may only be two weeks on propranolol but I can barely notice a difference and maybe there is a chance at a different diagnosis.
My neck and back hurt, even with regular chiropractic adjustments. I wake up and my legs feel sore like I had just been walking the entire day previously. I still have my involuntary myoclonic movements/jerking/spasms and absence seizures along with all of this. So whether or not I am having a myoclonic episode I am constantly moving around. Constantly.
Another thing, I sleep like the frickin’ dead. My boyfriend admitted to checking to see if I was still breathing almost every morning this week. I usually wake up easily or move around when he tries to get me up. But now I don’t move at all, which is why he checks to see if I’m breathing. So waking up has been more unpleasant than usual, it takes a lot more shaking to get me awake. The only time of day that I am still, unfortunatley, is when I am asleep.