An update to explain: yesterday I saw my neurologist for a check up. It was not what I expected. I was expecting maybe a medication change, higher dose of this, lower of that, yada yada yada.
My tremor has been getting worse and harder to control, so obviously I brought that up and also he kind of noticed right away that something was wrong. I’ve been waking up with tremors and sometimes having them when my body is at rest. It’s been weird, not fun at all , especially, because it’s been effecting my job performance. Typing is hard and so is staying focused on what I’m doing. I have to ask people to repeat themselves, and there are long pauses when I am speaking. I just thought that I may have built up a tolerance to my propranolol which is the medicine that controls the tremors.
Now, that very well could be the case, maybe I need a higher dose or a change. And the spacing out happens, it’s not unusual.
I left that office with two referrals and three tests to get done.
We’re now checking for Parkinson’s, and MS amongst some other awful things(I can’t remember what he said). I’ll be getting a standard EEG next week (I’ll update you on the results). I’m also going to go see a movement disorder specialist and a neuropsychiatrist.
So I have a scary few weeks ahead of me. If this was the first time I’ve been put thorough the crazy tests that scare the crap out of you, I would be panicking. But it isn’t. I’ve sat around and waited for multiple EEG’s, EMG’s, multiple MRI’s and crazy blood tests that are checking to see if I have lyme disease, neurosyphilis and leukemia.
So, on the drive home I decided I am going to take these few weeks to come up with a plan. I want my shit in order because if something bad pops up I don’t want to sit around and take meds and have people hold my hand and tell me they are so sorry. I am getting the fuck out of here and traveling. No more sitting at a desk answering people’s’ dumb ass questions (unless I’m fine then I will obviously continue to do that begrudgingly).
If you are going through something similar I highly suggest you think about what YOU want to do. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do, it’s more fun if you make your own plans and plot them in secret. Don’t think about the outcome until the results are in. Take your time and think about what you would do if you suddenly won the lottery. Plan it! And in the end if it all comes back ok and it’s nothing, you’ve got an awesome plan that you should probably still do.
Why this idea popped in my head, I do not know. But that was my instinct and I’m going follow it.
Plot, plan, execute.
The last thing anyone should do is sit around and worry their time away. What a waste! You could be planning the coolest trip of your life, something you’ve been too lazy or discouraged to do. Now is the time, because you may never have this feeling again so capitalize on it.
If am attempting to start a group so click here! It’s open to anyone interested in starting a dialouge about all kinds of illnesses.
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