We all know where I am going with this one. Therefore if you don’t like it, go away. I’ve been putting more thought to this than I normally do, probably because I feel like something is about to change in my life and it feels kind of bad. OR maybe that “sense of doom” symptom is making it’s way back in to my life, my epilepsy peeps know that one all too well. Here I go anyways. I just feel that I need to talk about it.
I was raised in a very open family, meaning, we were not religious at all but if we had a question about god, a religion or anything our questions were met with open-minded answers from two parents who were raised in strict religions that shed them as quickly as possible. GOD was not taboo, or bad or good. GOD was always a question. We, their children, were free to explore and find out for ourselves. They tried to influence us a little as possible so we could make our own decisions.
My mother was raised mostly a Jehovah’s Witness, it’s complicated. She is now an Atheist. She stopped because of blatant sexism. They did not want her to go to college, and wanted her to marry and have children and not work. Knowing my mother, THE smartest woman I know who had to go to a local college during high school to take math classes advanced enough for her (SHE’S A BOSS), and not knowing if she even wanted children at that time, she walked away without looking back. Probably even said “Bye fuckers!”
My father, from birth, Roman Catholic AF. Even pressured into being an altar boy but, gave it up after 8th grade. They pressured his mother into giving money shortly after his father passed away. Let’s leave it at this: It wasn’t pleasant and it wasn’t a happy time, and they (the church) did not help a family who needed love the most. My father is also an Atheist and has been for a long time.
The difference between my parents though is that my father doesn’t care for any religion very much and doesn’t like to learn about them. He finds it silly and uninteresting. My mother on the other hand, loves learning about all kinds of religions, she finds it fascinating. So, there is very little discussion between the two of them.
My best friend however is a Christian, like a good one. By good I mean, she is kind, thoughtful, forgiving and above all she gives so much. She believes in Jesus and all that Christian stuff that I don’t know about. And I don’t think she is purely wonderful because she was raised a Christian, I think it’s because she is just a wonderful person who handled a not so great childhood and made something of herself despite being dragged through the mud repeatedly by her own parents and other terrible judgemental assholes in her life. She chose to take the best traits and amplify them in a universal way that just makes you love her no matter what, I swear it is impossible to not like her. She doesn’t give a flying fuck what others believe or don’t, she will try to love you no matter what. Which is great because I am an awful person. And to the person who talked shit about her, fuck you.
Ok Kate, where are you going with this?
Here is what I would like to be known and what I think about GOD. I do not believe in God, Jesus or even fuckin’ Xenu. Was Jesus real? I don’t know and I don’t really care to know.
My brothers girlfriend, also a Christian, Baptist. She believes in god. Raised that way, went to church a lot, not so much anymore but definitely believes in some of the teachings and Jesus.
My younger sister, raised in the same way as me obviously, or as she would say ‘obvi”, says no.
My older brother, yeah. But not in a christian way, more philosophical. He has a god he talks to.
So when it comes to my illnesses and everything I have been through and will go through, I don’t believe there is a god looking down on me or anything like that. To me, I’m with science on this one, and it’s that epilepsy doesn’t discriminate. I am the 1 in 26 who developed epilepsy. I don’t throw my hands in the air and shout “Why god why!?” I have the answers, and will continue seeking them with empirical proof and data. It’s always been simple in that way to me, I never for a moment thought “shit, maybe I should pray” or anything.
I have conversations with my inner “Party Goblin” who is a frickin’ psycho by the way. And by psycho I mean PG says things like “Lightitonfire!” And not doing what she says let’s me know I’m not crazy…yet.
Also if there was a god, I sure as hell wouldn’t be bothering him/her/it/whatthefuckwhocares with any of my stupid bullshit. I don’t think god would enjoy being pestered with the likes of me, after all, party goblin.
So, all in all, no god. Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t believe in prayer or an ultimate omnipotent being like the Q. I also find the idea of heaven absurd.
If you believe, great. All I care about when it comes to others “are you a decent human?” and that’s what matters, no matter what you beleive. Even though I’m shitty person I do have some standards, be decent. I learned tolerance from my parents and especially from my best friend.
I have one rule, don’t be an asshole. If you’re an asshole, I will come for you, wether or not you are family IDGAF. And I sure as fuck wont put up with anyone judging me, try it, you’ll regret it. Because assholes judge and I bite back.
But I won’t judge who you fuck, if you’ve had an abortion (I would), or how many gummy bears you eat (no shame, you do you).
I have had some shitty shitty fucking lows in my life and not once have I thought that a god was involved.Whatever that religious thing is that others “feel” it’s not a part of me, and whatever happens when I die, I don’t know what would happen or if anything would happen. It doesn’t bother me to think about that.
Now ghosts, I’ll save that shit for another post. Like this article if you want a cool ghost story. Also follow my social media. Links are at the top, I’d love to hear from you!