So You’ve Got Epilepsy (warning: sense of humor required)

Here’s what you should and shouldn’t do

These are suggestions from someone with epilepsy who has learned all of this the hard way.

1. Don’t watch Pokemon, unless lights don’t trigger you then go right ahead. I will judge you though.
2.Tell your family/close friends right away, that way they can know what’s up.
3. Take your f*cking meds on time. TRUST ME DO IT. Just like birth control, take it at exactly the same time everyday/night. This tip is a twofer, you won’t get preggers and you won’t go batsh*t crazy when you forget and start seizing.
4. Wear a medical bracelet and ID just in case you fall or something stupid happens that puts you in a hospital. For example, you could forget to take your meds on time (or at all) and then go on that cool 3D theme park ride and come out with some serious problems.Don’t ruin rides for other people, not cool, they already waited in line for a long a$$ time.
5. Maybe invest in a helmet? You never know.
6. Carry around emergency meds like Immodium or Pepto, your gastrointestinal system is going to have a rough time(trust me). Don’t let your a$$hole of a butthole ruin your night out or in, or whatever you’re into, no judgement.
7. Baby proof your home. Oh yeah, those corners will try to get you. Don’t let them win.
8. Find out what triggers your seizures and avoid it. My personal trigger is watching the Kardashians, I think the stress of it sets me off. One time I wound up standing in my garage with no memory of how I got there. The last thing I remember was something about Khloe complaining about her new house.
9. If you have to puke, just let it happen. Nausea is common. Refer to my article on how to handle absence seizures for a full in-depth tutorial on how to handle this. It’s also useful for anyone who has any kind of nausea/gastro problem.
10. Get a god damned sense of humor. You’re special, make the most of it! My favorite joke is to just randomly throw whatever is in my right hand (where I have myoclonic jerks the most due to my epilepsy being in my left brain) at whomever I please and just shrug when they stare at me. It makes for a great dinner party. My boyfriend also sleeps to left of me for this reason.

I have left temporal lobe epilepsy with associated myoclonus. My main seizures are absence seizures and random jerking of the right side of my body for the most part. No tonic-clonic seizures yet or ever thankfully,I hope. I still fall a lot though, but I’m just an idiot. 

Anyone have any interesting triggers? Let me know, I am curious.


9 thoughts on “So You’ve Got Epilepsy (warning: sense of humor required)

  1. Thank you for this it really got my Monday morning started on the right foot. I will definitely pass this along to my friends and hopefully the ones who have witnessed some will get a chuckle out of this. Also can you post a link to your article on absence seizures? Those are the main type that I have as well and unfortunately they have cost me

    Video games are my biggest triggers. I was a big gamer and had a great relationship with a friend 6 hours away from me who played with me but I had to stop and unfortunately we don’t talk to each other as much anymore.

  2. I have tonic clonic seizures and I loved this article. Thought it was great, if people with epilepsy are deadly serious about it other people will carry on avoiding the subject for fear of saying the wrong thing etc. This type of writing removes that fear when discussing epilepsy and is quite funny as well.

  3. Hey
    My brother also has epilepsy
    Childhood epilepsy
    You’ve read his post (epilipsy- how i coped with it)
    So I read yours
    Thanks so much
    You’re helping me understand him so much better
    And appreciate what he’s going through
    You’re right, you guys are special, and I need to recognise that more.

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