It’s been about a month since I last posted because I have been so incredibly busy/tired/overworked/poked prodded and tested. Today I can finally feel the physical and mental toll it’s taken on me. I am just tired.
I started a retail job last month and since then it has been a roller coaster. I left a pretty cushy job too, it had it all, benefits with a great work culture. But, it was a bad match work wise. Phones and me don’t mix well, and my condition got so bad my doctor was worried (aka ordered more tests). After I quit I had a brief period of relief, and then quickly jumped into the retail job. Not ideal, no benefits, I make $4 less an hour with no bonus and I have to talk to people in person as well as pretend to care. I now have a permanent strained smile on my face for approximately 6 hours a day 5 days a week. I always swore I would never go back to retail, but it was my only option. Compared to other retail jobs I’ve worked in the past this is so far the best one.
As far as school goes, I dropped this semester down to part-time to be able to accommodate a healthy work/life balance. This has also been a struggle, at least in the classes that have nothing to do with my major. Dealing with financial aid is also a pain in the ass. But, it is what it is.
The poking and prodding has been a journey which I will update on my patreon. I’ve had another EEG, two more MRI’s of my brain with and w/out contrast, a DATscan and a spinal tap in the last two months. Read here What Now? . I’ve also neglected my patreon site as well and I feel stupid for doing that. I am trying to figure out how to structure it better. If you have any suggestions let me know.
When/ if I ever get my results of the tests I will update on my patreon first and then social media as well as this site.
To sum it all up, I am tired and stressed with no answers or a way to turn the rut I am in around.
So for now, fuck it.